I've sure gotten old!

[strypes]

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'


The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter
eggs.



I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends, But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.


An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.


These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'


Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you
stop laughing.



--- THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

[YourPastorT]

That is funny, I especially like, "My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be."

It is good to laugh

[Preacherhc]

 
I was very offended by this post. since  i am  probably the  oldest 
member here.........and am getting old (er) every day..... Very Offended


Just kidding.. I too thought it was very funny and
appreciated it  MUCHLY  (humm is that a word??__) 

Love in the Lord
Howard

[strypes]

I was very offended by this post. since i am probably the oldest
member here.........and am getting old (er) every day..... Very Offended

I think Tommo is the most advanced in years here...

 though he has the heart of a teen...

He knows how to laugh!

[Preacherhc]

Might be   
How is Old Tommo LOL
I am 65  last  sept

howard

[gibbers]

Here's another one:

You know you're getting older when you hear Snap! Crackle! and Pop! in the morning, and it isn't your breakfast cereal.

[*~Jenn~*]

lol Jared... thats cute

[HistoryMaker]

Uh, one question........
How can a woman fight prostate cancer?